drawnbythesword | 08 [Voice]

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08 [Voice]

[Filtered to Hubert, Sophie, Richard, and Pascal | 50% unhackable]

Lambda's gone.

[/Filter]

...I'd heard of it happening before, but this is the first time it's personally happened to me... What... [There's a hint of hesitation and sadness in his voice.] ...What exactly happens to someone who's sent away from here?

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I promised Sophie I would always protect her, but... I purposely left her behind just moments before she was attacked... If you hadn't been there, she could have died. The fact that you were able to put what happened at home behind you and willingly protect Sophie means the world to me, Richard. And I'm sure she feels the same.

The pain I inflicted on her was far worse than the injuries I received protecting her. How can I possibly atone with just this alone?

Richard... Why did you protect Sophie?

... because I didn't want her to get hurt again.

I think the feelings contained in doing that say much more to Sophie than just doing it.

But... it doesn't seem like Sophie forgiving you matters, because you refuse to forgive yourself.

...

[Well, he can't really deny that, so instead he just looks away.]

Why do you continue to beat yourself up over this?

You know, Asbel... I may not have been able to do much, but I'm glad. I'm glad that I was able to protect Sophie, even if just for a moment.

[Subject change? Perhaps.]

...Ah, well... Protecting her doesn't have to end there, Richard.

[Damn you, Richard.]

That's why I need to become stronger, so that next time, I'll be able to do it on my own.

...Remember, we're all here for each other. We'll protect you just as you'll protect us. [But I'll do it best. |8]

You've done more than enough of that already, Asbel. I'm truly grateful for it.

[He shakes his head.]

No, I haven't done enough, not yet.

And how many times have you saved me so far?

Eh? Ah, well, there's... [brb counting the times.]

[Waiting.]

[Richard, why you trollin']

...It's been quite a few times, I guess...

[Because that's how he rolls, man. It's also an excellent cover, which is what it's serving as right now.]

Exactly, which means you've done a splendid job protecting me.

That's exactly why I can't stop now, though! I swore to always protect you, Richard...

[Asbel may not notice, but Richard clutches the blankets in a tight fist with his good arm, knuckles going white.]

Always...

Edited 2011-04-10 07:19 (UTC)

What if... [Asbel looks down at the ground now.] ...What if I wasn't there to protect you when you really needed it? Like what happened with Sophie...

[Richard just remains quiet, biting his lip against a sudden surge of emotions that both surprise and confuse him. Asbel had... yes, he'd shown up when Richard really needed him, but... it had been seven years before that without even so much as a letter. He's been telling himself that it's okay, that surely Asbel was just busy and that it's fine because Asbel did come to save him in the end, but... the truth is, it still hurts to have been left alone like that.]

Edited 2011-04-10 21:11 (UTC)

[He pauses for a moment. He has a feeling what might be traveling through Richard's head... If it's anything like what Cheria had described to him about how she felt, he can only imagine...]

...I've made a lot of mistakes over the years. I lost Sophie once already, and I nearly chased Cheria out of my life because I didn't want to return to Lhant until I'd become a proper knight, never stopping to think how it affected her. I almost alienated Hubert as my brother, and I lost my father before I even really knew him.

And you... We were supposed to be the closest of friends, with an "everlasting and unchanging friendship"... But, even though I was a part of your kingdom, training to become a Knight... I never said a word to you about anything.

I... I'm sorry, Richard... I don't want to risk losing anyone again now...

Asbel...

You aren't the one who needs to apologize for anything. I am. I'm the one who should apologize for...

[... for hurting everyone and causing so much trouble, for allowing myself to be used, for being weak, for needing others...]

... for everything that happened. If I'd just been stronger like you, then perhaps...

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