drawnbythesword | 08 [Voice]

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08 [Voice]

[Filtered to Hubert, Sophie, Richard, and Pascal | 50% unhackable]

Lambda's gone.

[/Filter]

...I'd heard of it happening before, but this is the first time it's personally happened to me... What... [There's a hint of hesitation and sadness in his voice.] ...What exactly happens to someone who's sent away from here?

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That's exactly why I can't stop now, though! I swore to always protect you, Richard...

[Asbel may not notice, but Richard clutches the blankets in a tight fist with his good arm, knuckles going white.]

Always...

Edited 2011-04-10 07:19 (UTC)

What if... [Asbel looks down at the ground now.] ...What if I wasn't there to protect you when you really needed it? Like what happened with Sophie...

[Richard just remains quiet, biting his lip against a sudden surge of emotions that both surprise and confuse him. Asbel had... yes, he'd shown up when Richard really needed him, but... it had been seven years before that without even so much as a letter. He's been telling himself that it's okay, that surely Asbel was just busy and that it's fine because Asbel did come to save him in the end, but... the truth is, it still hurts to have been left alone like that.]

Edited 2011-04-10 21:11 (UTC)

[He pauses for a moment. He has a feeling what might be traveling through Richard's head... If it's anything like what Cheria had described to him about how she felt, he can only imagine...]

...I've made a lot of mistakes over the years. I lost Sophie once already, and I nearly chased Cheria out of my life because I didn't want to return to Lhant until I'd become a proper knight, never stopping to think how it affected her. I almost alienated Hubert as my brother, and I lost my father before I even really knew him.

And you... We were supposed to be the closest of friends, with an "everlasting and unchanging friendship"... But, even though I was a part of your kingdom, training to become a Knight... I never said a word to you about anything.

I... I'm sorry, Richard... I don't want to risk losing anyone again now...

Asbel...

You aren't the one who needs to apologize for anything. I am. I'm the one who should apologize for...

[... for hurting everyone and causing so much trouble, for allowing myself to be used, for being weak, for needing others...]

... for everything that happened. If I'd just been stronger like you, then perhaps...

During those seven years, if I had been there for you... Things might have turned out differently. Maybe everything wouldn't have happened the way it did... With you, and Lambda...

[Would that really have made a difference? If Asbel had been there, if he hadn't been alone... could all of that have been prevented? Somehow that makes him feel even more guilty.]

Lambda had been inside me ever since that day... I'm not sure there was anything you could have done to change that.

I'm not sure if it would have or not... I'll never find out, either. We can't change the past... So I want to work towards a better future, Richard. [A pause.]

...But only if you'll let me.

If I'll let you?

[Richard isn't quite sure he understands.]

[He nods.]

Ahh... Yeah. Nothing I've said, about wanting to continue protecting you in the future won't matter... if you won't let me.

Asbel...

[And now Richard is faced with a dilemma. On the one hand, he doesn't want Asbel to feel obligated to do anything for him, to risk his own safety to protect someone like him. On the other, he doesn't want to make his friend feel bad by turning his offer down. What does he do now?]

[He just stays silent, waiting for Richard to give him an answer.]

[Richard doesn't know what to do. No matter what he answers, someone is going to end up hurt in the end. He doesn't want Asbel to get hurt for him, but... won't it be better to let him be happy, at least for a while?]

... if that is what you truly want.

[--! Did he really agree...?]

Ah... Thank you, Richard!

[Ahh, there's that smile. Richard will endure whatever pain he has to as long as Asbel keeps smiling like that.]

No, thank you. After all, you're the one who vowed to protect me.

[Knowing someone else still depends on him relieves him.]

Ah, well... I'm just doing what feels right to me...

[And yet it makes Richard feel even worse, because it just further convinces him that he's weak.]

That's exactly why you're stronger than I am.

[He shakes his head.] I can only be strong... Because my friends are strong.

[And again Richard is silent. He can't bear to tell Asbel that he really isn't that strong at all.]

[He'd tell you you're full of shit, Richard. Just in... Asbel terms.

His gaze shifts downward, towards the ground. The awkward silence reminds him there's a reason he's here.]

...Richard, there's... actually a reason I came to see you.

[... that does not sound good at all, and the expression on Asbel's face isn't helping that atmosphere.]

Did something happen?

...He's gone.

Who is?

[Although he has a sinking feeling that he knows exactly who Asbel means.]

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